If You're in Your Fall Season: Where to Start
Missed the blog post about the seasons? Read it here.
So you've read “The Four Seasons of Self” and you're thinking, "Yep, that's me. I'm in Fall. The leaves are changing, I don't recognize myself anymore, and I have no idea what to do about it."
First, take a breath. You're not lost—you're in transition. And transitions, by their nature, feel disorienting. But here are some concrete ways to begin finding your footing.
Three Questions to Ask Yourself Right Now
Grab a journal, a napkin, or the notes app on your phone. Don't overthink these—just write whatever comes up, even if it feels messy or contradictory.
1. "What am I doing that no longer fits who I'm becoming?"
This could be a job, a relationship dynamic, a daily routine, a belief about yourself, or even how you spend your free time. What feels like you're wearing clothes that are two sizes too small? Where are you performing rather than living?
2. "What did I love doing before I became 'too busy' or 'too responsible' for it?"
Think back to your twenties or early thirties, before all the roles piled on. What lit you up? What did you lose track of in the Summer years? Sometimes our Fall reinvention isn't about finding something new—it's about reclaiming something we abandoned.
3. "If I removed all the 'shoulds' and fear of judgment, what would I want to try?"
Not "what would be practical" or "what would people think." What would make you feel alive? Training for a marathon? Going back to school? Learning an instrument? Moving somewhere new? Starting a business? Dating again? Let yourself want something without immediately talking yourself out of it.
One Small Action to Take This Week
Don't try to overhaul your entire life by Friday. Just do this:
Schedule one hour this week that's entirely yours.
Not to run errands, not to catch up on work, not to do something for someone else. One hour where you do something that connects you to who you actually are (or want to become).
This could be:
Going for a walk alone with your thoughts
Sitting in a café with a notebook
Trying a new fitness class
Researching that thing you said you'd "maybe do someday"
Calling a friend who knew you before you became "mom" or "the manager" or whatever role consumes you
The content matters less than the practice of claiming time for yourself. You're not being selfish—you're practicing being a person again, not just a collection of roles.
How to Tell If You Need Additional Support
Here's the honest truth: sometimes Fall isn't just a natural transition. Sometimes it's tangled up with depression, anxiety, trauma, or physical health issues that need professional attention. So how do you know?
Consider reaching out to a therapist or doctor if:
You're having thoughts of self-harm or that life isn't worth living
Your sleep, appetite, or energy has been severely disrupted for weeks
You're using alcohol, drugs, or other substances to cope
You're experiencing panic attacks or overwhelming anxiety
The sadness or emptiness feels heavy and constant, not just occasional waves
You've lost interest in everything, not just certain aspects of your life
Physical symptoms are showing up (unexplained pain, digestive issues, heart palpitations)
Consider working with a coach if:
You know something needs to change but you're stuck on what or how
You need accountability and support while you reinvent
You want to explore your identity and purpose more deeply
You're making a major life transition and need a guide
You have the emotional bandwidth for growth work but need structure and expertise
Consider talking to your doctor if:
Menopause or perimenopause symptoms are making everything harder (they can help with HRT, sleep issues, mood regulation)
You're experiencing brain fog, fatigue, or physical changes that concern you
You suspect something medical might be contributing to how you're feeling
And here's the truth: you might need more than one kind of support. I see a therapist and I have a business coach and I work with an amazing medical/health team on my health. There's no prize for doing this alone.
The Bottom Line
Fall is the season of transformation, but transformation doesn't happen by just waiting it out. It happens when you get curious, get honest, and get support.
You don't have to have it all figured out. You just have to take the next small step.
And if you're reading this thinking "I need someone to help me figure out my next small step"—well, that's exactly why I do what I do. My GRIT, GLOW and GROW framework was built for women exactly like us, navigating exactly this season. (And yes, I'm currently walking through my own Fall transformation, training for a marathon and rebuilding my entire sense of self, so I'm right there with you.)
But whether you work with me or someone else or figure it out on your own, the important thing is this: don't let this season pass without squeezing every bit of colour out of it.
Winter is coming, sure. But Fall? Fall can be absolutely spectacular if we let it.
Ready to dive deeper? I'm working on my next post, "Winter is Coming: Rewirement Over Retirement," where we'll talk about how to prepare for the next season like we prepare for actual winter—with intention, preparation, and maybe some cozy sweaters. Subscribe below so you don't miss it.
